Monday, December 21, 2009

Bible Humor

With Tithing Settlement [the year end declaration of your tithes and offerings to the Lord] Kent has been spending a lot of time at the Bishop's office - It doesn't hurt to have a little Biblical humour to help make it through the long days...
Q. What kind of man was Boaz before he married Ruth? A. Ruthless.
Q. What do they call pastors in Germany?A. German Shepherds.
Q. Who was the greatest financier in the Bible?A. Noah He was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation.
Q. Who was the greatest female financier in the Bible?A. Pharaoh's daughter. She went down to the bank of the Nile and drew out little prophet.
Q. What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible?A. Jehovah drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden in a Fury. David 's Triumph was heard throughout the land. Also, probably a Honda, because the apostles were all in one Accord.
Q. Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?A. Samson. He brought the house down
Q. What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why he no longer lived in Eden?A. Your mother ate us out of house and home.
Q. Which servant of God was the most flagrant lawbreaker in the Bible?A. Moses. He broke all 10 commandments at once.
Q. Which area of Palestine was especially wealthy?A. The area around Jordan. The banks were always overflowing.
Q. Who is the greatest babysitter mentioned in the Bible?A. David He rocked Goliath to a very deep sleep.
Q. Which Bible character had no parents?A. Joshua, son of Nun.
Q. Why didn't they play cards on the Ark?A. Because Noah was standing on the deck.
(I'm suppose to be writing my Christmas letters to my kids, looking through past entries has really helped jar my memory. I came across these jokes which I started to post a few months ago and never finished.)

1 comment:

Susan said...

Those are great! Who said the scriptures aren't funny?