These Things Are Important

I asked Diana for some air time on her blog to share a few thoughts and to experience the therapy that is blogging. SSL - Kent

When I was in High School I was blessed to be in ROTC with a commander by the name of Col Jay Hess. He served in Vietnam was shot down and captured and spent many years in Hanoi. He often spoke of that time of suffering and fear. President Monson spoke in his talk Finding Joy in the Journey of the short letter that Col Hess wrote to his family at that time. “His captors in Hanoi eventually allowed him to write home but limited his message to less than 25 words. … not having seen them for over two years and not knowing if we would ever see them again? Wanting to provide something his family could recognize as having come from him and also wanting to give them valuable counsel, Brother Hess wrote—and I quote: “These things are important: temple marriage, mission, college. Press on, set goals, write history, take pictures twice a year.”

Travis got it, over a lifetime we have learned lessons together, and recently he has become the teacher. Travis has learned lessons gained through the clarity that has come with the necessity of closely considering what is important, and he has shared some of them with me in simple encouragement that has strengthened my resolve to be a better man. I have heard it said a true friend is someone who makes us want to be better, that is the kind of friend Travis has always been to me.

Temple Marriage: Travis recently said of his marriage, “I married the right girl in the right place.” It is that simple. On the day Di and I were married the sealer said no matter what happens, if you stay faithful to your covenants, you are each other’s forever and nothing can change that. He also gave our wedding certificate to Diana and said “Now here is the deed to your property don’t lose it!” Travis belongs to Mandy, he is hers for now and for eternity. Travis has expressed to me an appreciation for Mandy that I can only hope to gain over a lifetime.

Mission: We watched in anticipation as Steve left on his mission. Travis always idolized Steve and when he left we couldn’t wait until it was going to be our turn to go and follow in his footsteps. The night before Nelson left on his mission 5 of us were on his bed laughing and talking the night away. Just as we were all about to settle in to go to sleep Travis sat strait up in bed and started singing Called to Serve, at the top of his lungs. All of us joined in. We wrote back and forth consistently through our missions. Travis learned to serve, love, and trust the Lord in a way that would carry him throughout the rest of his life. We just finished reading the D&C as a family tonight. I know Travis will be serving the ultimate mission. D&C 138: 57 I beheld that the faithful elders of this dispensation, when they depart from mortal life, continue their labors in the preaching of the gospel of repentance and redemption, through the sacrifice of the Only Begotten Son of God, among those who are in darkness and under the bondage of sin in the great world of the spirits of the dead.

College: Neither of us were stellar students in high school yet in the time when we knew the welfare of our families depended on the education we would obtain the call of responsibility gave us wings. Travis’ scholastic transformation was encouraging to watch. Travis worked hard to earn a Master’s degree and set the tone for education for his children and students to strive for.

Press on: There is a book with this title by Elder Wirthlin that Travis gave me for my birthday a couple of years ago. Elder Wirthlin was what I always considered a goal line disciple of Christ. Never giving up until it was over. Travis has exemplified that. The last talk in that book is one of my favorites Sunday Will Come. “When Christ rose from the grave, becoming the firstfruits of the Resurrection, He made that gift available to all. And with that sublime act, He softened the devastating, consuming sorrow that gnaws at the souls of those who have lost precious loved ones. … Each of us will have our own Fridays—those days when the universe itself seems shattered and the shards of our world lie littered about us in pieces. We all will experience those broken times when it seems we can never be put together again. We will all have our Fridays. But I testify to you in the name of the One who conquered death—Sunday will come. In the darkness of our sorrow, Sunday will come. No matter our desperation, no matter our grief, Sunday will come. In this life or the next, Sunday will come”. Travis would often say, “I have cancer, cancer doesn’t have me.” Travis was never a victim of circumstances. He always fought to overcome and his fight with cancer has been no exception. He has battled on with each of us rallying around him with faith sufficient to heal and strengthen him again and again over the past two and a half years. His faith is firm in Christ and he has continued to look to Him and God throughout all this both for healing and for understanding to accept His will. Elder Holland said, “When what has to be has been and when what lessons to be learned have been learned, it will be for us as it was for the Prophet Joseph. Just at the time he felt most alone and distant from heaven’s ear was the very time he received the wonderful ministration of the Spirit and the glorious answers that came from his Father in Heaven: “My son, peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment; And then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high; thou shalt triumph over all thy foes”

Set Goals: Travis always looks to the future and defined his way by setting, working hard towards, and accomplishing his goals. I can’t think of anything that Travis ever set his mind to that he couldn’t accomplish. Travis is an incredible fighter and he excelled at everything he did. He has the gift of vision and an unconquerable spirit that never let him quit. We must chart our course to eternal life and let nothing deter us from our destination.

Write history: Travis got a journal and began to write his history and things he wanted his children to know about his life and testimony. I know it will be a treasured possession in their home. I hope the words I record of my experiences, feelings, laughter, and tears will be of worth to my children.

Take pictures twice a year: No one who has enjoyed the beautiful pictures on their blog or in their home over the past few years could argue with this last bit of seemingly insignificant advice. Nothing lasts forever, especially childhood. Over these past two and a half years, Travis’ priorities got crystal clear, there was not to be any time or experience wasted. There was no doubt where the priority was, it was with Mandy and the children. Partially because of his example of how he focused on his family, partially because of the clarity of the perspective brought about by his circumstances I have been a better and more focused husband and father.

The great plan of happiness made possible through matchless gift of God our Eternal Father prescribes the bitter with the sweet. The one does not exist without the other I am grateful for the sweet experiences made sweeter through the lens of painful experience. Moroni 7: 41 And what is it that ye shall hope for? Behold I say unto you that ye shall have hope through the atonement of Christ and the power of his resurrection, to be raised unto life eternal, and this because of your faith in him according to the promise. How do you inspire yourself to greatness when nothing less will do? It is often done though the works of others. More joined the believers than were slain in the day that more than 1,000 of the Ammonites were slain by those who were touched by the spirit through the faith of the believers. 100’s if not 1,000’s have been brought closer to Christ through earnest prayer, fasting, temple attendance, and searching for His help in Travis’s behalf. Though observation of how they have approached these trials all of us have been strengthened and our resolve is greater than ever.

Is it possible that Travis' magnificent life could bring as many souls closer to Christ as the martyrdom of a thousand? Travis is extraordinary and all that endeared him to us also made him fit for the Master's use to bring all of us closer to Him. Certainly the numbers are roughly the same but it will be for each of us to decide if our conviction will be the same. Just as the story did not end here and the greater miracle was yet to be. The children of those slain fathers became the 2,000 stripling warriors with faith to not only carry them through every trial but the faith to create miracles on the field of battle and life. What will we do with the experience we have had and those we have witnessed? “When you feel like quitting, when you feel like not moving on, if you really love and really respect those who have fallen move on none-the-less and one day it will all make sense again”.

God has a plan for each of us. I know what Travis and all around him who love him have gone through is part of that plan. He will build us into what he would have us become if we'll let Him. Christ carried the burden for us He is with each of us as we reach out for His help now. He lives and He is the Savior and Redeemer of all. May His promised peace be with each of us as we focus on the restored gospel and the light it brings. JSH 16-17 "...exerting all my powers to call upon God to deliver me ... at the very moment when I was ready to sink into despair ...at this moment of great alarm, I saw a pillar of light exactly over my head, above the brightness of the sun, which descended gradually until it fell upon me... When the light rested upon me I saw two Personages, whose brightness and glory defy all description, standing above me in the air. One of them spake unto me, calling me by name and said, pointing to the other—This is My Beloved Son. Hear Him!" I know IT IS TRUE!!!

ALL IS WELL!